When I started this detox, I was ready. It was a new year and time for a jump start. No more nibbling on treats and excusing my bad behavior as the holiday norm. I was feeling yucky and it was time to re-set my system. The first week wasn't too bad. It took some time, but I was organized with recipes and snack planning and things clicked along nicely. I tried some new meals and surprisingly, we hit on a couple of things immediately that even the kids were willing to eat. But, as with any "habbit-breaking," after about a week in, this venture was beginning to seem like a bad idea. Life cranked back up to full speed and I couldn't keep up with the groceries...and suddenly, I was eating the same things all of the time...totally bored with the menu. If it were just me, then that wouldn't have been an issue...but that isn't my reality. I have four kids...two of whom are under age five and have food allergies. I'm still in a season of life where it is a good day if I manage to squeeze in a shower - and so this seemingly endless circle of planning food was a bit overwhelming. I was not loving it and my diet was excruciatingly repetitive. I'm not a quitter though...so I kept plugging along. By week three, I was definitely ready to be done, but by that point I was also over the proverbial "hump"...and there was no looking back. And then, suddenly...it was 21 days...I had completed the detox. Whew! I followed the plan (as far as I can tell) almost perfectly. I had a bite of applesauce one day when I was making food for the kids and just totally zoned out (more on that later), and I also ate ten blueberries because they were fresh, organic, and staring me in the face one morning after breakfast. Those were my only cheats.
I am extremely glad to be finished with this process. I felt a bit confined and frustrated by the lack of variety. But as I sit and reflect on the three weeks, I must admit that there is a good bit that I can take away, because I did notice some things that I would not have otherwise realized without the restrictions. Here are just a few of the nuggets:
-Normally, I crash every afternoon at about 3:00pm. This did not happen while on the detox. My energy levels were the best they have been in quite some time.
-I was shocked by how little I think about what we're eating. Relatively speaking, I'm a fairly informed mom when it comes to nutrition. We eat a mostly organic, mostly whole foods diet...but what I didn't realize was what a routine I was (stuck) in. I'd go to the grocery store with a list fairly similar to the one the week before, and the week before that, and the week before that (you get the picture)...and this detox forced me to truly think about each and every bite that I ate, and in turn, fed my family.
-I snack a lot while cooking or cleaning up from the kids meals. I had no idea really, how much I was nibbling off of their plate, left-overs, etc...probably several hundred calories a day...it was almost as though I was in some sort of trance, not even realizing that I did it. But with the detox, I had to be mindful of each and every morsel...and this was eye-opening.
-My joints don't hurt. I just realized this today...although I first had the thought last week, that I didn't have as many aches and pains, but I didn't connect the two until I read the list of things that may happen while on the detox.
-I'm usually a snacker, but during this time period...I didn't need to snack. Really, I could eat breakfast at 7:30am and not be hungry again until 1:00pm...which was a completely new thing for me.
-I think I'm sleeping better. This is difficult to say for sure, because I'm still tired...but my kids get up here and there and so I'm not guaranteed a solid 8 hours nightly. But on the whole, I do think the rest I am getting has been more...uh...restful.
-I ate a lot of protein and my body seemed to like it. I've been working out fairly hard and I can feel myself getting stronger. Initially it seemed like a lot of meat, but it appears that my system really did enjoy it.
-The cooking aspect was a bit challenging. Between needing meals large enough to feed six, our crazy schedules, and the allergy restrictions...it was tough. I think I would need a crock-pot Paleo book to survive long-term. :)
-I hate how the scale can determine whether or not I have a good or bad day, so I typically avoid it. However, I was very curious about what my weight would do with what seemed like a very high-fat diet. So, I weighed myself on Day 1 and on Day 22. The first thing I learned is that I need to go out and buy a better scale...because this morning I weighed myself seven times and saw a different number each time. However, if I come up with some sort of average, then the minimum I lost was six pounds. Seriously, six pounds in three weeks of eating whatever I wanted from the "approved" list...no counting, weighing, journaling or hunger. I ate more meat and more full fat dairy than I ever have...and still lost six pounds. Mind-boggling. It wasn't the goal of this detox to lose weight...but I'll take it. And...it has made me think...
Also, I just did a quick check-in with the hubby to see what he learned throughout his own process and this was his response:
-Detox makes him crabby due to the limited foods from which to choose (the man likes his oatmeal and sweet potatoes)
-Wheat gives him heartburn (I discovered this about myself as well.)
-He usually ends up with a very raspy/hoarse voice by late afternoon, but this didn't happen during the detox period.
-He also avoided his typical 3:00 pm crash.
So, my 21 days are over, but honestly, I'm not sure about the next steps. I've actually learned a lot and I'm really wrestling with what to take away from this experience...what should I implement as long-term life changes? I think the high protein/low carb piece is interesting...because intuitively, one would think you would gain weight...but my personal experience (and now, a lot of research) have proved that to be false. The energy level part is exciting too. I also like the idea of eating how God intended us to eat...that makes sense to me. But how does all of this apply to our family...specifically, realistically? I'm not exactly sure yet. I'm feeling paralyzed by too much information. Hopefully with some time, I can sort through this and then use pieces of what I've learned to make some long-term changes for my family.
So, what did I think of the detox? It was a bit challenging and certainly not my favorite thing...but well worth it. I've learned a lot, it has given me much to wrestle through and overall, I am feeling better.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Sports and Snacks
It's a familiar scene on youth sports fields across this country. The whistle blows, kids shake hands...and then they run like Karl Lewis to find the mom handing out the post game snack. Of course they do. This is America and we love food. Well, it is not really food we love. We love the chemically enhanced, momentarily tasty products masquerading as food and living in the middle isles of our grocery stores. And these impostors find their way into every aspect of our American life.
A birthday at the office - well of course there must be cake. An early meeting demands donuts. A holiday party at school and we are certain our children will suffer greatly unless they have the appropriately themed cookies. My kids' school offers either pizza or a local fast food option at least once a week. I have a pre-schooler learning to count with candy - which of course they are allowed to eat at the end of the lesson. And of all of this unhealthiness, the one that is sending the most confusing message to our children is the marriage of youth sports and food.
It is impossible to turn on a news program today without finding some type of story on the rise of obesity in our children. Type II diabetes is now something faced regularly by this nation's kids - juvenile cardiovascular disease is on the rise. The current generation of kids will likely have a shorter lifespan than their parents. This is bordering on child abuse and it must stop. I'm not sure why American parents can't see it - the paradox between teaching kids that sports and treats go together. We take our precious children, most of whom have been sitting in school all day, or in front of the television or playing video games and we send them out for an hour of moving their body, competing, having fun doing something physical...and then we reward that with 400 calories of high fructose corn syrup, food dye and trans fats. Seriously? Do we truly believe that 45 minutes of soccer has left our kids so dangerously close to low blood sugar and dehydration that they they need a bag of mini-cookies and a gallon of sports drink? Is this really good parenting?
It has to stop. I don't know how, but this madness must end. It seems overwhelming because this snack insanity is everywhere. So, as parents, what should we do? Change is on the horizon, but it is going to take time...baby steps. It is a movement that must start slowly, individually and then hopefully, as people become better educated, it will swell from the ground upward and change will come. If you are a coach and it is an option to skip snacks entirely for your team...do it. If this is deemed sacrilegious in your particular athletic organization, then encourage healthy snacks. And a word of advice, most parents don't know what healthy snacks are...so provide some ideas. The list of foods to avoid is long: no sodas, sports drinks, or artificially flavored waters, nothing with sugar as the first ingredient, nothing with high fructose corn syrup, trans fats or food dyes, nothing with an ingredient list over three items or with any ingredient that sounds like it was made by a scientist (because if it was, it isn't food). The "healthy" list is very easy: whole foods, foods that God made, fresh and no preservatives - and to drink...water (gasp!).
This is a scary era of obesity and it is time for some changes. Of course food is an important part of life. Real food is meant to be enjoyed...savored...delighted in. But this artificial, processed, snacky, on-the-go, frankenfood is not edible and it certainly isn't something we need to be giving our growing kids...especially not in association with athletics. They need to learn that food is fuel, and if you want to perform, it is imperative to feed the body in a way that will give it the energy it needs. It is time to substitute the fake-fruit gummies and electric blue liquid for some of the healthy nutrition lessons that can be learned through sport. The last whistle has blown. We must stop rewarding kids with this insidious fake food, and start filling them with the tools needed to make healthy choices. Their little lives depend on it.
A birthday at the office - well of course there must be cake. An early meeting demands donuts. A holiday party at school and we are certain our children will suffer greatly unless they have the appropriately themed cookies. My kids' school offers either pizza or a local fast food option at least once a week. I have a pre-schooler learning to count with candy - which of course they are allowed to eat at the end of the lesson. And of all of this unhealthiness, the one that is sending the most confusing message to our children is the marriage of youth sports and food.
It is impossible to turn on a news program today without finding some type of story on the rise of obesity in our children. Type II diabetes is now something faced regularly by this nation's kids - juvenile cardiovascular disease is on the rise. The current generation of kids will likely have a shorter lifespan than their parents. This is bordering on child abuse and it must stop. I'm not sure why American parents can't see it - the paradox between teaching kids that sports and treats go together. We take our precious children, most of whom have been sitting in school all day, or in front of the television or playing video games and we send them out for an hour of moving their body, competing, having fun doing something physical...and then we reward that with 400 calories of high fructose corn syrup, food dye and trans fats. Seriously? Do we truly believe that 45 minutes of soccer has left our kids so dangerously close to low blood sugar and dehydration that they they need a bag of mini-cookies and a gallon of sports drink? Is this really good parenting?
It has to stop. I don't know how, but this madness must end. It seems overwhelming because this snack insanity is everywhere. So, as parents, what should we do? Change is on the horizon, but it is going to take time...baby steps. It is a movement that must start slowly, individually and then hopefully, as people become better educated, it will swell from the ground upward and change will come. If you are a coach and it is an option to skip snacks entirely for your team...do it. If this is deemed sacrilegious in your particular athletic organization, then encourage healthy snacks. And a word of advice, most parents don't know what healthy snacks are...so provide some ideas. The list of foods to avoid is long: no sodas, sports drinks, or artificially flavored waters, nothing with sugar as the first ingredient, nothing with high fructose corn syrup, trans fats or food dyes, nothing with an ingredient list over three items or with any ingredient that sounds like it was made by a scientist (because if it was, it isn't food). The "healthy" list is very easy: whole foods, foods that God made, fresh and no preservatives - and to drink...water (gasp!).
This is a scary era of obesity and it is time for some changes. Of course food is an important part of life. Real food is meant to be enjoyed...savored...delighted in. But this artificial, processed, snacky, on-the-go, frankenfood is not edible and it certainly isn't something we need to be giving our growing kids...especially not in association with athletics. They need to learn that food is fuel, and if you want to perform, it is imperative to feed the body in a way that will give it the energy it needs. It is time to substitute the fake-fruit gummies and electric blue liquid for some of the healthy nutrition lessons that can be learned through sport. The last whistle has blown. We must stop rewarding kids with this insidious fake food, and start filling them with the tools needed to make healthy choices. Their little lives depend on it.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
China...2012?
It feels strange to say that we are revving up for another adoption, when really, we've never geared down. We always felt that a precious daughter from China was part of the plan...and we began following that road over five years ago. However, due to some providential detours, in reality the path wound up being much different (and better) than we had initially expected. I have the entire story posted on one of the pages above for anyone interested in reading it. We also made a video documenting the journey of our first adoption, which is posted in the upper right sidebar, "Bringing Home Caleb." In short though, the story began in 2006, involves a surprise pregnancy, then an extended wait in China, followed by an Ethiopian adoption, and still more wait in China...which brings us to present day.
At this point, the wait for a "healthy" baby in China is five+ years and climbing. We actually finished our Chinese dossier and were logged in (put on the wait list), almost three years ago, and it was also three years ago that we finished our Ethiopian paperwork. Our son from Ethiopia has been home for two years now...so you can see how this Chinese wait (which has occurred for a number of reasons and is another post for another day) can be excruciating...especially to those who signed on when the process was approximately 12 months start to finish. However, the Chinese restrictions as to which children are considered healthy are very strict, thus leaving a large group of children with mild special needs, older children, etc...that fall into the "special needs" category for that country. There is such a great need here and these adoptions can occur more quickly, with less wait. Still, it is not something to attempt without giving special consideration to what the reality is, and we wanted to be certain that this was the right path for our family. At this point, we are very comfortable with a mild special needs adoption and we know that whoever this little girl is, she is ours...and perfectly created for our family.
So, here were, about become active once again in the very unpredictable (and extremely amazing and challenging) world of international adoption. I cannot explain my reasoning, but I have always felt a longing for a Chinese daughter...I could see her in my dreams, envision her sitting on my kitchen counter...she has always been in my heart. We are currently making some prayerful decisions regarding the specifics and once those are finalized, then we hope to move forward in updating our paperwork and taking the next steps. We would love to travel to China sometime in 2012...but we also know that we have absolutely no control over this process. If there is one primary lesson learned in our Ethiopian experience, it was that nothing went as expected, yet it all still turned out beautifully in the end.
We were blessed by so much support from friends and family the first time around...we know that this journey is much easier if we do not attempt it alone. Hopefully through this blog we can keep people updated about where we are in the process, fund-raising, our time-line...and ultimately...post the first pictures of our little girl.
Stay tuned...more details coming soon...
At this point, the wait for a "healthy" baby in China is five+ years and climbing. We actually finished our Chinese dossier and were logged in (put on the wait list), almost three years ago, and it was also three years ago that we finished our Ethiopian paperwork. Our son from Ethiopia has been home for two years now...so you can see how this Chinese wait (which has occurred for a number of reasons and is another post for another day) can be excruciating...especially to those who signed on when the process was approximately 12 months start to finish. However, the Chinese restrictions as to which children are considered healthy are very strict, thus leaving a large group of children with mild special needs, older children, etc...that fall into the "special needs" category for that country. There is such a great need here and these adoptions can occur more quickly, with less wait. Still, it is not something to attempt without giving special consideration to what the reality is, and we wanted to be certain that this was the right path for our family. At this point, we are very comfortable with a mild special needs adoption and we know that whoever this little girl is, she is ours...and perfectly created for our family.
So, here were, about become active once again in the very unpredictable (and extremely amazing and challenging) world of international adoption. I cannot explain my reasoning, but I have always felt a longing for a Chinese daughter...I could see her in my dreams, envision her sitting on my kitchen counter...she has always been in my heart. We are currently making some prayerful decisions regarding the specifics and once those are finalized, then we hope to move forward in updating our paperwork and taking the next steps. We would love to travel to China sometime in 2012...but we also know that we have absolutely no control over this process. If there is one primary lesson learned in our Ethiopian experience, it was that nothing went as expected, yet it all still turned out beautifully in the end.
We were blessed by so much support from friends and family the first time around...we know that this journey is much easier if we do not attempt it alone. Hopefully through this blog we can keep people updated about where we are in the process, fund-raising, our time-line...and ultimately...post the first pictures of our little girl.
Stay tuned...more details coming soon...
Monday, January 2, 2012
Day One...21-Day Sugar Detox
Day one. A fresh new beginning.
I'm full of enthusiasm for this new start...three weeks of thoughtful eating...jolting my body back into health. I'm ready, I'm committed...
...then I got out of bed.
Both my final thoughts before falling asleep last night and my first thoughts this morning were about coffee...and my lack of, for the next 21 days...the sweet, creamy kind in which I delight. After a short moment of silence for that loss, my mind then turned to breakfast. I've got four kids to feed, two with severe food allergies...so food restrictions are a norm for us anyway...but now I have to add my own requirements into our already crazy morning routine. Yikes...was this really a good plan...did I think it through or was it some ridiculous resolution made enticing by the hope of a new year? Was this even a realistic undertaking?
My conclusion was that I can do anything for three weeks. But it didn't hit me until this morning exactly how uncomfortable this process might be. I can't just go to my normal stand-by, busy mom meals...a quick smoothie, a bagel, or oatmeal. This was going to require some thought and planning...not something I excel at when it comes to the kitchen. I can do the basics, but I'm certainly not a chef and if I'm honest, I do not really enjoy cooking...wow...what did I get myself into?
So...day one began this morning. The first thing I did was get on the scale, which I hadn't done in a while. I weighed...
Seriously - if you think I'm going to post that number here then you've lost your mind. Let's just say it was about what it always is. I've lived much of my life a slave to the scale and I refuse to let that infuriating little piece of metal have such an influence over whether I have a good or bad day. So, I get on occasionally, but not often. If I'm making smart food choices and working out consistently, my weight stays pretty much the same. I have a couple of pairs of pants I use as guides...if they start to get snug then I worry. Otherwise, if I feel fit and none of my clothes are tight, I don't give it much thought. I wouldn't mind dropping a few pounds, but I'm not going to obsess over it and weight loss isn't my goal in the next three weeks. I just want to feel better, to see if I can gain more control over my cravings and to learn if I can avoid those late afternoon blood sugar drops that leave me ready for a nap.
I took a trip to the grocery store today too...to stock up on a few items we were missing. Meal planning seems to be the most daunting task at this point. The hubby is doing the detox with me, so I've got to find dinners the kids will eat (and that meet our current food allergy criteria), but also ones we can modify to suit our needs...because I certainly can't be doing a la carte meals for everyone...that would be insanity.
As I write this, day one is drawing to a close. I feel as though I've eaten a lot of meat, eggs, cheese and raw veggies...much more than I do normally. I suspect that some withdrawal symptoms will be appearing shortly, so I'm dreading the potential headaches and fogginess and hoping that I can persevere through that brief period. I think I did well today...no cheating and I was only mildly grumpy.
Only 20 days to go.
I'm full of enthusiasm for this new start...three weeks of thoughtful eating...jolting my body back into health. I'm ready, I'm committed...
...then I got out of bed.
Both my final thoughts before falling asleep last night and my first thoughts this morning were about coffee...and my lack of, for the next 21 days...the sweet, creamy kind in which I delight. After a short moment of silence for that loss, my mind then turned to breakfast. I've got four kids to feed, two with severe food allergies...so food restrictions are a norm for us anyway...but now I have to add my own requirements into our already crazy morning routine. Yikes...was this really a good plan...did I think it through or was it some ridiculous resolution made enticing by the hope of a new year? Was this even a realistic undertaking?
My conclusion was that I can do anything for three weeks. But it didn't hit me until this morning exactly how uncomfortable this process might be. I can't just go to my normal stand-by, busy mom meals...a quick smoothie, a bagel, or oatmeal. This was going to require some thought and planning...not something I excel at when it comes to the kitchen. I can do the basics, but I'm certainly not a chef and if I'm honest, I do not really enjoy cooking...wow...what did I get myself into?
So...day one began this morning. The first thing I did was get on the scale, which I hadn't done in a while. I weighed...
Seriously - if you think I'm going to post that number here then you've lost your mind. Let's just say it was about what it always is. I've lived much of my life a slave to the scale and I refuse to let that infuriating little piece of metal have such an influence over whether I have a good or bad day. So, I get on occasionally, but not often. If I'm making smart food choices and working out consistently, my weight stays pretty much the same. I have a couple of pairs of pants I use as guides...if they start to get snug then I worry. Otherwise, if I feel fit and none of my clothes are tight, I don't give it much thought. I wouldn't mind dropping a few pounds, but I'm not going to obsess over it and weight loss isn't my goal in the next three weeks. I just want to feel better, to see if I can gain more control over my cravings and to learn if I can avoid those late afternoon blood sugar drops that leave me ready for a nap.
I took a trip to the grocery store today too...to stock up on a few items we were missing. Meal planning seems to be the most daunting task at this point. The hubby is doing the detox with me, so I've got to find dinners the kids will eat (and that meet our current food allergy criteria), but also ones we can modify to suit our needs...because I certainly can't be doing a la carte meals for everyone...that would be insanity.
As I write this, day one is drawing to a close. I feel as though I've eaten a lot of meat, eggs, cheese and raw veggies...much more than I do normally. I suspect that some withdrawal symptoms will be appearing shortly, so I'm dreading the potential headaches and fogginess and hoping that I can persevere through that brief period. I think I did well today...no cheating and I was only mildly grumpy.
Only 20 days to go.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
21-day Sugar Detox...begins January 2, 2012
I'm not a big fan of diets or diet fads. After spending much of my life thinking food was the enemy, I've come a long way. I now see food as nutrition, as fuel...but I still battle those demons and it has been a long journey to this point. So...I run away from new trends, from advice on how to be thin...I run and don't look back. However, one of my dearest friends, Karina, is a trainer and also insanely intelligent - and knowledgeable in the world of health, fitness and nutrition. She is Italian and has recently switched her family to a Paleo diet...quite impressive, considering that years ago, to imagine her without pasta would have caused me to burst into hysterical laughter...an impossibility for certain! She has recently been encouraging a 21-day detox plan as a way to kick off the new year...to end those uncontrollable cravings and blood sugar spikes - to prepare the body to make healthy choices in the long-term...essentially, to eat counter-culturally.
I've been thinking about it for a while. Sudden changes and drastic restrictions in diet are very scary for me...reminders of the old days...days when I'd eat lettuce and frozen yogurt and call it a meal or when I'd spend 90 minutes running on the treadmill in anticipation of the calories I was planning to consume on a Friday night. I never want to go back there.
I feel like our current lifestyle is pretty healthy. I workout regularly and we eat a mostly organic, whole food diet. Still...I don't pay much attention to carbohydrates and I do notice the sugar highs and lows in my day...most notably...a 3:00pm crash that occurs almost daily.
So, the hubby and I are starting the detox tomorrow. What will I miss most? Probably my coffee...loaded down with cream and turbinado sugar...oh...I dread even thinking about a morning without my travel mug full of sweet heaven...for the love of all that is good, how will I survive?
The detox we are doing is by Diane Sanfilippo of Balanced Bites, and can be found at the link below:
21-Day Sugar Detox
Stay tuned for updates...I'm starting tomorrow.
Right now...I'm going to finish this glass of wine. :)
I've been thinking about it for a while. Sudden changes and drastic restrictions in diet are very scary for me...reminders of the old days...days when I'd eat lettuce and frozen yogurt and call it a meal or when I'd spend 90 minutes running on the treadmill in anticipation of the calories I was planning to consume on a Friday night. I never want to go back there.
I feel like our current lifestyle is pretty healthy. I workout regularly and we eat a mostly organic, whole food diet. Still...I don't pay much attention to carbohydrates and I do notice the sugar highs and lows in my day...most notably...a 3:00pm crash that occurs almost daily.
So, the hubby and I are starting the detox tomorrow. What will I miss most? Probably my coffee...loaded down with cream and turbinado sugar...oh...I dread even thinking about a morning without my travel mug full of sweet heaven...for the love of all that is good, how will I survive?
The detox we are doing is by Diane Sanfilippo of Balanced Bites, and can be found at the link below:
21-Day Sugar Detox
Stay tuned for updates...I'm starting tomorrow.
Right now...I'm going to finish this glass of wine. :)
Friday, December 30, 2011
Created For Care (Adoption) Retreat
Are you a tired adoptive mom needing some time to rest and refresh? Or maybe, you are waiting...longing...for a little one who is yours, but still not home? Could it be that you have a heart for orphans and want to learn how to love and serve friends and family in the adoption community?
Then this is the retreat for you...check out the link below:
Created for Care
I went last year and it was an amazing time of respite...leaving me with renewed passion and purpose. I would recommend it to anyone who may be touched in some way by adoption. It is a great time to bond with others who understand the joys and struggles of adoption, there are fabulous (and very informative) breakout sessions and overall, it is an amazing and blessed time. The January retreat for 2012 is full, but the last time I checked, there was still room in March...but don't wait...it will fill up quickly!
Then this is the retreat for you...check out the link below:
Created for Care
I went last year and it was an amazing time of respite...leaving me with renewed passion and purpose. I would recommend it to anyone who may be touched in some way by adoption. It is a great time to bond with others who understand the joys and struggles of adoption, there are fabulous (and very informative) breakout sessions and overall, it is an amazing and blessed time. The January retreat for 2012 is full, but the last time I checked, there was still room in March...but don't wait...it will fill up quickly!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Daydreaming
I try not to spend too much time daydreaming about who my kids will be in the coming years. I mean, as they grow into adults, of course I have a broad vision of the path we are trying to follow, the path less traveled, but my hopes relate more to their hearts...their souls. I long for them to be believers. I want them to be loving, to be servants. I hope they have a heart for the world, I want them to be empathetic, to have an excellent work ethic, to put others first. But as far as the specifics...I don't spend a lot of time dreaming of sports stars or longing for academic over achievers or planning their weddings. I feel that as a parent, it is my job to walk with them and help them discover who it is God made them to be. If I have assorted hopes and dreams of my own, my own ambitions for them, if I transfer my idols to their little lives...won't it certainly hinder my ability to hear God? I don't want my voice to drown out His. Most days I have a pretty good handle on this goal for myself...to live in the day with them, expose them to a number of different avenues and just watch, pray and wait as they continue to grow. But I am sinful and weak and every once in a while, my mind wanders.It happened just the other day.
For most moms, dreaming of little girls means pink and tutus, princesses and tea parties. But my weak moment surprised me as I walked into my bathroom and saw a precious pair of itty bitty pink soccer cleats lying on the floor. Like the flutter of a film real, I saw it...the love of a game that has brought so much to my life: dew on the grass before an early morning match, life-long friends, travel, fitness, college memories, the rush of adrenaline after scoring a goal, confidence, the bonds formed by being part of a team...I saw it all. In a brief flash, I longed for that for her...for us to share this sport that has been such a huge part of my life. My heart ached as I looked at those little shoes and knew that soon, those feet would grow. What if the beautiful game, as it is called around the world, could not only be mine...but ours to hold on to...together?
It was a fleeting moment, as I quickly grabbed hold of my thoughts and returned to reality. Of course she may love soccer...or she many not, but that is totally irrelevant. I am here to walk with these kids...to love them...to teach them....but I am merely a guide, here to shepherd...to help them along their way. I don't have to plan everything. I am a facilitator to help them discover who it is God has made them to be. I must remember this if I am to be the mom that they need. It reminds me of a passage I read in a book years ago, long before my babies were growing into little people. The author was writing about his thoughts regarding his son's calling and it has remainded with me for many years:
"What is his calling?" Perhaps he will be a welcoming pastor in a charismatic church. Perhaps not. What does it matter? He thinks he would like to be a cartoonist. He loves to draw. I don't care if he makes a lot of money, goes to college, finds a career, or sells Fuller brushes door-to-door. I don't want him to be happy, nor do I merely wait for him to find his way. I want him to use all he is for the kingdom of God. And my task is to delight in his passion, promote his desires, let him fail, and sit quietly with him on the porch waiting for God to speak to us both.
-"The Healing Path," by Dan Allender
It was fun to consider for a moment...a precious little one loving what I love. Many times, the control freak in me is exasperated because I am obviously not in charge of this thing I call "my" life. But my weaknesses and failings are being made increasingly evident as I attempt to navigate motherhood, and I think the mom part of me finds great comfort in knowing that ultimately, even my greatest daydreams are no match for God's plan.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
10 Things Children With Food Allergies Want You To Know
Sometimes, as the mother of a child with severe food allergies, it is a challenge to help others empathize with the issues facing my son. I completely understand, because unless it is something we have dealt with personally, it is difficult to imagine what these kids go through on a daily basis. But for kids with severe allergies, if they eat three meals a day plus two snacks...then at least five times a day, they are faced with life or death choices - and with being different...it can be overwhelming for them and terrifying for their parents.
I recently saw this article by Gina Clowes on the Allergy Moms website and thought it was great. If you have any contact with a child with food allergies, please take a quick minute to check out the link below...it is a short, easy and helpful snapshot into the heart of these kids:
10 Things Children With Food Allergies Want You To Know
(And the Allergy Moms website is a great resource for learning more as well...)
I recently saw this article by Gina Clowes on the Allergy Moms website and thought it was great. If you have any contact with a child with food allergies, please take a quick minute to check out the link below...it is a short, easy and helpful snapshot into the heart of these kids:
10 Things Children With Food Allergies Want You To Know
(And the Allergy Moms website is a great resource for learning more as well...)
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