Shadrack - An Orphan With Cancer - Can you help?

I hate that kids are orphans and I hate that kids get cancer. But to be both...an orphan with cancer. Oh my heart...it seems unfair. 

I received an e-mail tonight from my friend Andrea. She is quite involved with Wiphan...an organization that does amazing things for widows and orphans in Zambia. In the e-mail she told the story of Shadrack...an 18-year old double orphan who has been in the Wiphan program since he was in first grade. Shadrack was just recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The doctor feels that they have caught the disease early and the prognosis is hopeful, but for obvious reasons, Shadrack does not have the $5,000 needed to pay for treatment (chemotherapy is free to Zambians, but there are many other costs associated with fighting cancer). So...here my two passions have collided...orphans and childhood cancer. I know that not everyone will be able to help, but I also know that many can and will. This young man has been through much heartache already, what a blessing it would be for him to see the body of Christ circling around him, united in their effort to fight with him as he battles this disease. 
 

For a more complete version of Shadrack's story, please check out Andrea's blog:

Babe of My Heart - Helping Shadrack

If you don't need to know more and would simply like to donate, please go to the Wiphan fundraising link and enter "Shadrack" in the "comments" field:

Wiphan Donation for Shadrack

Please pray for Shadrack and pass along his story. This sweet boy deserves to have hope and the chance for a bright future.

 

Humbly,

Tiffany

Will You Run With Us?

I spent today anxiously checking Facebook for news regarding biopsy results of one of the osteosarcoma kids we now follow. She was diagnosed shortly after Bailey, but her cancer did not respond extremely well to the two initial chemos...or to the several given after the first two didn't work. Now the beast is raging inside of this sweet eight year old girl and they are grasping for hope, praying for a miracle. I wish this was an unusual morning, checking in on the one rare sick child. Sadly, it is our new normal. Ever since we were thrust into this world, our eyes have been opened to a reality we never knew existed. A horrific world, where kids walk through tremendous pain, fear, and physical suffering...a world most adults cannot even manage to think about because it is just too ugly...yet these kids must live it every day.

When you have a child with cancer, much of your time is spent feeling helpless. As a parent, we are there to guide our kids, to walk them through life, to keep them safe. With cancer you feel so completely out of control...relying only on the terrifying combination of what each scan reveals, the advice of doctors and the hope that this particular mutation responds to the drug options that are available. It feels as if everything is upside down and there is absolutely nothing you can do...it is terrifying. To watch your child hurt and not be able to fix it, it changes you in the depths of your soul.

The other shock comes when you begin to better understand the data behind childhood cancer. Up until the point when Bailey was diagnosed, I thought it was fairly beatable. I had always heard "good" things about leukemia and how much progress had been made. What I didn't realize is that other than a few types of leukemia, childhood cancer is extremely underfunded and we really haven't made much progress at all in most cancers in over two decades. Childhood cancers are very different than adult cancers and we are in desperate need of new research, drugs and cures that are not completely life altering. If you aren't one of the fortunate kids who catch it early and whose cancer happens to respond to one or two of the known drugs, your hope quickly vanishes and you are left to cling to clinical trials and miracles. And almost all of those who do survive must deal with some combination of life-long side effects...hearing loss, heart damage, infertility, cognitive damage, limb loss...these are the "lucky" kids.

There are so many awful things in this broken world. I am not naive enough to think that childhood cancer trumps them all. The difference is, that while there are many tragedies we cannot avoid...natural disasters, crazy people who snap, accidents...this beast of childhood cancer is actually something we could defeat. The building of awareness can lead to funding which will lead to research...and do you know what comes after research? Hope. Healing. Happiness for families who would have otherwise been torn apart by grief. Kids living and getting to be kids.

I know sometimes it must be tiresome to visit this site or my Facebook page or anywhere that I am posting about all of this awful information. Its hard to look at. But now that our family knows, we must act, because we really can affect change and it is impossible to un-see. We can help these kids. We pray that you are willing to step into the ugly battle with us, to roll up your sleeves and get down to the business of fighting this monster so that kids may have their lives back. Our first big push for this year will be the Rally Foundation half-marathon in October. Tomorrow I will be posting information on both how to run as part of our team as well has how to donate. We would love to have a big group running, but if that simply isn't your thing, please prayerfully consider giving to this great organization.
This won't be the last time I ask and I will apologize in advance for my persistence. Please look past me and see these warrior kids facing battles and making decisions far beyond the scope of what their little hearts should have to face.

In a very hard and broken world, this really is an area where we can make a difference. We can ensure that kids and parents do not have to suffer in this way. The government can't help because it is too large and cumbersome. The pharmaceutical companies will not come to our aid unless enticed because there is no profit to be made. But as family and friends, we CAN fight the battle for these kids and truly make things better.

Throughout this journey, I have committed to being open and authentic. This is my heart tonight. I am growing weary of watching kids hurt and parents ache. Please prayerfully consider joining us in this fight. Tomorrow, I will post the specifics about how you can run with us...

Humbly,
Tiffany







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Mother's Day 2013

In my early mothering days, I thought I had it all figured out. As I look back now, my ideas of motherhood were laughable...arrogant and naive at best.  Initially there was some shock of course, as I transitioned from career to full time at home. But after I got into the groove and I'd survived a couple of infants, I became incredibly sure of my systems. I could schedule and potty train and do playgroups with the best of them. I had it down. Fortunately, I'd never bought completely into the lie the world was telling me, that children are a burden - something to do after you had all the fun of youth, but before it became biologically impossible to have them. Thankfully, I never believed that I could have it all and nothing would suffer. Yet I still bought a portion of the current values - the ones that so permeate our culture today. I had slowly been sucked into the thinking that while children were definitely something you "should" do at some point and they made for really nice Christmas card photos, that there were other really important and self-gratifying things that I "wanted" and so children must be worked into that schedule. My plan. They were cute and adorable sometimes, but I should have plenty of balance, fun, money and "me" time. I knew that there were difficult choices to make, but I was still incredibly selfish and I completely misunderstood God's design for motherhood. I suppose it was good that I didn't quite comprehend fully. If I had truly grasped how He would use these kids to refine me...I probably would have run screaming in the other direction.

Now thinking back, I imagine God just shaking his head. Lovingly of course, but with that look all parents have when they know their children are completely ignorant of the reality barreling their direction. I sometimes find myself with that look now, when around new moms. Not in a self-righteous, "Oh...you just wait" way (okay, maybe occasionally like that)...but rather wanting to just give them a hug and tell them to start praying now because it is the only way they will survive and not crumble. Their own strength will not be enough.

As I reflect, eleven years into my role as I mother, the differences between expectation vs. reality are practically unbelievable. I envisioned a couple of over-achieving, perfectly coiffed children. Busy and active, but I would still be very organized and in control...it would not be more than I had the time or resources to manage. (Insert hysterical laughter here.) However, God had an entirely different plan. We now have four kids and if they are all able to find clean socks and comb their hair it is a good day. Instead of quiet and order we have crazy and chaos. We have adopted internationally, so I am learning how to parent a child who was given a rough start. We have a son with life-threatening food allergies. We are a bi-racial family. We have walked a daughter through cancer, watching her suffer tremendously as we watched helplessly, unable to take away her pain. She is now an amputee. If someone had told me this story fifteen years ago, I would have pitied this poor, crazy soul...wondering how that dear mom could survive in such an environment. But that soul is me. And not only am I surviving, but I am thriving...not through any strength of my own, but through Christ. There is no possibility that I could have wrestled with all of this and come through stronger and wiser on my own merit. It is Him. I don't even recognize that young mother in her 20s and while I know there is still much I must learn, I love that I'm not that girl anymore.

Eleven years ago, I was going to conquer motherhood. That is what I did generally...tackled challenges and "won." I was going to have the best plans and schedules and systems and information and it would be easy. Ultimately, it was all about my need for control. I was incredibly selfish and things were going to go my way. But that was long ago. Now I realize that motherhood is essentially for two purposes. First, to teach your children about Jesus (thus preparing the next generation to spread the gospel) and secondly, to refine the mother. We all know that there are beautiful joys with children, those amazing moments of hugs and kisses and cuddles that keep you coming back for more. There are many precious blessings over the course of raising little ones. But essentially, the daily muck of motherhood is about dying to self. It is not an easy task for anyone and it is also not something held in high esteem in today's society...a society obsessed with self.

While I am not even half-way through this mothering season, the lessons are tremendous even to this point. I have learned that children are not a burden, but an amazing gift to treasure and cherish. I now understand why we should let God design families, rather than would-be parents who want to squeeze children into their own very busy "plan." I have grown quite content in my role as a stay-at-home mother, and even though many days are long and tiring, I am grateful that I don't have to miss a second of their little lives. The time with babies is fleeting and precious. The scary reality looms that big kids are much more difficult because the issues are of the heart and the mistakes can be life-altering. The most important thing I have realized so far is that God has a specific plan for each of my children, and no amount of organizing, reading, scheduling, running interference or worrying can control it. As a mom, I can try to be obedient. I can teach. I can pray. The rest is not up to me.

Just as everything else in my life post-childhood cancer, Mother's Day seems very different this year. I have a much greater understanding of the true sacrifice of being a mother and of the thousand little cuts and sometimes gaping wounds that are birthed from the love a mother has for her child. If I am doing my job well, they will no longer need me...and this might be the greatest blow of all. In the last year, as we fought cancer, I have been introduced to so many mothers who are hurting...caring for children with special needs, sick children or aching for kids who have already left this earth. I am thankful for each day. It is amazing to me, where I stand now, and I am humbled. There is much mothering yet to do, and in that process, more of my sin to expose. I imagine that God is still shaking his head at me...a loving father knowing I have much to learn. But before, when I just had little ones, I was doing it on my own strength and only realized that it wasn't enough as life began to crash down. Now, as I enter a new season with big kids, I know that I simply cannot do it on my own and I must rely on Him. My perspective is completely changed.

Wishing you a special Mother's Day. Hopefully it is a happy one, but if not, may it be a time of reflection and remembrance of past blessings.