Wiphan Warthog Waddle

Help raise money for widows and orphans in Zambia...

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Race Details:

Date

Saturday, March 03, 2012 @ 8:00 AM local time

Address

Fellowship Bible Church

480 West Crossville Road

Roswell, GA 30075

Registration Closing Date

Thursday, March 02, 2012 @ 11:59 PM

Brief Description

This family-friendly event will help raise funds for Wiphan Care Ministries. The 5k course is mostly flat and fast through a surrounding neighborhood. Special thanks to our title sponsor Solid Source Realty.
Each runner will receive a black technical T shirt for their participation.

START TIME

The 5k will begin at 8:00am followed by the 1k Fun Run at 8:45. The awards presentation will follow at 9:00.

PACKET PICK UP AND RACE DAY REG

Packet pick-up and race day registration 6:45 – 7:45 am.

FEES

5K: $25 until 02/26/2012, $30 thereafter 1K: $15 until 02/26/2012, $20 thereafter

AGE GROUPS/AWARDS

Awards to Overall M & F, Masters Overall M&F and 3-Deep for M & F Age Groups: 10 & Under, 11-14, 15-19, 20-24, 25-29, 30-34, 35-39, 40-44, 45-49, 50-54, 55-59, 60-64, 65-69, 70 & over.

1k Fun Run

All participants get a finishers ribbon.

Wiphan Marketplace

Before and after the race, the Wiphan Marketplace will be open. Items available for purchase include cookbooks,T-Shirt, African jewelry etc. All proceeds go to the Wiphan Care Ministries. There will be an arts and crafts station for 1k runners.

Ethiopia Day

So, I've wrestled with how to celebrate Caleb's adoption day. It is a big date, one worthy of celebration. But as he gets older, it may also remind him of the sad, the loss he had to go through to get here. Plus, our other three kids are biological, so they don't have an adoption day...which further complicates things. For now, we've settled on calling it Ethiopia Day and making it more of a family celebration. I decorate with all of the Ethiopian goodies I've managed to compile, the kids all get a small gift and we go out for Ethiopian food for dinner. This year, I also checked out a video about Ethiopia from the library (the kids totally loved this!). As I've mentioned before, this plan is a work in progress and we may adjust as Caleb gets older and we see a need to change it. But for now, this seems to be going fairly well. It is a special day that everyone gets excited about and we try to fill it with some Ethiopian culture...so I think we'll stick with it...but we will certainly reevaluate each year to determine if whether or not changes need to be made.

A Good Reminder (about kids from hard places)

Last week, we surprised the kids with a trip to Disneyworld. They had two days off from school for winter break, but because we weren't planning on going anywhere and we only decided on the Disney trip about a month ahead of time...we decided not to tell them. So, on a Thursday evening after school, they were at their nana's house, planning to spend the night there...and we showed up with a packed van to pick them up and leave town. They were stunned and it took them a while to grasp what was happening...but then we were pumped and headed to Orlando. The trip was terrific and much needed. We were all feeling pretty fried. We needed some family time, time to just laugh, hang out together...time without homework, sports, chores...all the yuck that can get in the way of enjoying each other.

But to back track a bit, for our first few days at Disney, Caleb had a rough time. I wrote a post a few weeks ago as we hit his two year adoption anniversary. In the post I spoke of how well he was doing...and he is...truly a transformed child. But as I was reflecting, I wanted to be sure what I was saying was perceived correctly. I truly believe he is different, he has been healed. That being said though, I also know that we will face rough patches here and there forever...and our recent vacation was a perfect example of that.

He was very "off" for our first few days in the new place. He was extremely quiet, skittish...and almost shut down. In all the reading I've done, most authors would agree that the majority of adopted kids have issues with transitions...any kind - be it simple or a major life change. These kids have triggers...some easily identified and some, not so much so...triggers that send them back into their old coping strategies...many times even if the kids have been in a family for quite some time. We spoke with a friend of my husband's that same week, and they had recently moved to a new house and their nine year old internationally adopted daughter was having a major meltdown in relation to the move - and she had been with them for years. There are a number of coping strategies, but most can be put into two categories...either revving up or shutting down. Caleb has always shut down...and we had moments on our trip where we could see his eyes go vacant - back to that very scared place...and he would definitely shut down...either trying to go to sleep or burying his head to get away. It was just a reminder, both good and bad, that there are things we will always be dealing with.

So, how did we handle it? By making every attempt to re-engage him when he did turn away. There are many ways to do this and it depends on the child...for him it is feeding him a snack, not just handing him a cereal bar, but really engaging in back and forth, forcing eye contact as he ate. Another thing that works for him, is physical touch...tickling, wrestling...drawing him back out of that "safe" place inside himself and into family life. It took a few days, but by the end of the trip he was almost back to himself...happy, comfortable and ready to explore this magical place called Walt Disney World.

It was a great trip and we made a lot of new, wonderful memories. It was also a good reminder, for us to be attentive as parents, realizing that there may be some extra things along the way that we need to look out for in this child who had a very hard start in life.

How Did I Get Here?

I'm old. Yes, age is relative. So relatively speaking, I'm as old as I've ever been. (As usual, you get amazing insight on this blog.)
 
Yep...shocker, I know. If you are in your twenties or younger and reading this, you are nodding your head, yes, you are old. Know how I know? Because when I was that age, I looked at women my age and I thought they were old. When I was 24, I played soccer with a bunch of girls in their early 30's...they seemed ancient to me at the time. Now? Not so much. If you are 40+ and reading this, then you are shaking your head at me, thinking...just you wait...you don't even know what old is. Age is relative though, and relatively speaking, I'm older than I have ever been (yep...you read that correctly...obviously I'm not getting any sharper with age either). :) The difference at this point though, is that I seem to have crossed some imaginary line, some border between the ignorance of youth and the wisdom of age...because now the years feel as though they have sped up...like they are suddenly passing by at a blinding pace as I claw, grip, cling...trying to slow them down.

I guess this notion, of not noticing how I got here, has just hit me in the past couple of years. It seemed as though for the longest time, I wasn't old. I was a cute twenty-something mom with a chubby baby or an adorable toddler always in tow. We had our first couple of children at a fairly young age, so I was a "young" mom in the pre-school class or really, anywhere I went. I'd look at moms who at that point, were in the age and stage where I am now and I'd think, "Wow...they don't have to lug diaper bags and bottles, it appears they have time to shower and exercise, and their kids are in school...oh, that will be wonderful." Once again (as seems to be the case in each stage of life), now that I'm here, God is revealing to me that my daydreams were slightly inaccurate. He is showing me that I need to be content in the moment, because although each season is different, they are all fraught with their own challenges.

Still, it is funny how "old" sneaks up on you. Even at thirty, I felt fairly young. Then, as thirty got closer to forty, it happened...almost overnight. Could it be because my body lets me know more, now than it ever has...is it because after a hard workout there are more aches and pains (in the wrong places) and it takes me longer to recover? Or maybe, it is because I've had three big babies - pregnancies and births that changed my body in ways never mentioned in the books...is that it? Or, could it be the wrinkles that weren't there before, but now seem to appear anew each day? In my younger kids' classes, I now feel like the "old" mom...maybe that's it? Another doozy...my oldest child turned ten this year. Really, ten? I have a fuzzy memory about my childhood (uh oh, another bad sign...), but I can certainly remember being ten. And for the icing on my now brightly lit birthday cake? My Facebook page is peppered with chatter about our looming 20th high school reunion. I could continue, but I think all of these things, as well as a few others, have collided at full speed to leave me feeling breathless as I wonder, "Where did all of the time go?"

So, why the post? Does it really need to be announced? Nope. But it has gotten me thinking a lot lately about both being content in the day and living a life with purpose. I'm in this season currently, the one that used to be full of "other" moms...but for which I am now a card-carrying member...the season of school-aged kids. It certainly isn't any easier and I'm fairly sure, it is actually more difficult. My kids' lives are more complex...and so are their issues. I do still have little ones at home, but I also have big kids with sports, homework, music lessons and all of that craziness. I find myself feeling sad and nostalgic quite a bit...and the closer I get to older kids and "freedom"...the less I want it. I look at pictures of when we were new parents with littles...and my heart aches. Not only did I magically, overnight, grow old...but so did my kids...and it hurts. As much as I love the amazing people they are becoming, I miss the little ones they were. I miss our leisurely mornings at home in our p.j.'s and afternoons spent having picnics in the backyard. I miss our relatively free evenings after the kids went to bed at 7:30 and I miss weekends that remained open for family time. I miss our life without chores and homework and driving...oh, so much driving now.

So, where does this leave me? I'm afraid, in a familiar place...wrestling. Life is exhausting in this season - as I try to juggle kids ranging from ages two to ten...and I collapse in bed each night with nothing else left to give. Still, it is a precious time and I think the key is learning to be content...in each day...and to take it day by day. The solution, is to rest in God to meet me, to give me peace for the now and to rejoice in His blessings for that day. I am learning to do this, and I suppose that is one benefit of age...perspective. I am here in this day and I need to make choices that allow me to live with a greater purpose. Choices that prevent me from getting mired in the "busy-ness" and allow us, as a family, to focus on leaving a legacy and living for things eternal.

It is not easy and as moms, God uses both the heartache and joy that come with the "job" to change us...to mold us. It can be really painful. It is all going so quickly and what I am sure of is that I don't want to miss it...not one second. I feel blessed to have been home with my kids all of these years...especially now that I see how fast they grow up. I suspect I'm a different mom to #3 and #4 than I was to #1 and #2. I've relaxed some and I cherish each day more than I did years ago...because I know that this sweet four year old will all too quickly turn into an opinionated ten year old and I want to savor each moment along the way. And one day too soon, the opinionated ten year old will be a full grown adult, and if I've done my job well, she won't "need" me...and honestly, that is the most terrifying reality of all.

I think I'm rambling now...that is what old people do, right? I believe I'm thinking out-loud more than anything else, trying to sort through these complex emotions. This motherhood stuff is really tough. Being a woman and growing older isn't a bowl of peaches either. Still, I am overwhelmed by the blessings and I don't want to ruin today by either living in the past or worrying about the future. Contentment. I need to rest...to meditate on that word. After all...it is surely only a matter of time until I will re-read this post and think, "Wow, I was young then and I didn't have a clue...where did the time go?!?"

He Makes All Things Beautiful... (Happy 2nd Adoption Day Caleb!)

Two years ago today, I held my sweet boy for the first time. The feelings, they were so familiar...excitement, jubilation, fear, panic, overwhelming gratitude...and there were tears, many of them. I'd been here before, walked this road as I held each of our first three biological kids. But two years ago today, I experienced all of those emotions and more - because with adoption - there is always more. In addition to the myriad of emotions that come with the addition of another child to your family, with adoption there is also the underlying layer of sorrow...of sadness...of loss. The loss of a birth mother, the time spent in an orphanage - lonely and afraid, the loss of a country. It is deep and it is heavy and it is a scary gap that my child had to walk alone in those early days. As parents it is easy to simply bask in the glow of adoption ideology...of cheery coming home videos...in the idea of "saving" a child. But at some point (usually quite quickly), reality comes crashing in and we realize that our child is hurting. We learn that their brain pathways have been physiologically altered because they have endured high levels of stress at an early age - when much of their "wiring" was still developing. They are from a hard place. What becomes even more evident is that as parents, it is our role to step out of the rosy little post-adoption fantasy, fall to our knees, roll up our sleeves and begin to walk with God as He heals these precious little souls.Caleb was nine months old when we finally held him for the first time. I assumed, like many adoptive parents, that our transition may have a bumpy start, but that we could push through it and be back to "normal" quickly. We did everything the books said to do. We cocooned, we attached, we were the only caregivers. What became evident in those early months, was that we were dealing with a very scared, sad and angry baby. It took a while for some of that to fully present itself, because he was so little...but in the midst of temper tantrums like I'd never known...I knew that we were dealing with deeper, more primal feelings. It was a bit of a battle for me, to finally accept that there was much more uphill to go, that "Gotcha Day" was merely the beginning of the journey. Oh, did I love this little boy...but most days, we didn't like each other much...but I hurt for him and I wanted to fight for him...to give him the love, the family, the healing...he deserved that. It took time and we had a lot of really hard days. Early on, the tantrums seemed endless. He had trouble speaking, so his frustration level was quite high. He took much of his anger out on me and it became quite obvious that he had little trust for women. But we just kept moving...one day at a time. I read, I researched, I drove to therapy and to counselors...and I prayed.

Some may read this and wonder why I am sharing so much. We do try to keep much of Caleb's story private, until he is old enough to decide which portions he would like to reveal to others. But without sharing this honesty of the hard, it would not be possible to fully describe what God has done in this little boy...you can't see the light, until you have seen how truly dark it was.

As I sit today, home two years from when I first held our precious Caleb Gebremedin Alemayehu, he is a changed child. There is a twinkle in his eye and he has a smile that can light a room. His laugh is completely infectious. He eats well, he sleeps well, he has grown like crazy, he is content, well-behaved and he is talking constantly. He is drop-dead handsome...and he finally loves and trusts his mama. Just last week, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "Loves you mama," for the very first time. It took all I had not to collapse, weeping, in my kitchen. There are no words to describe the delight I have in this child...and I suspect it is so much sweeter because we have walked the hard together. Each milestone feels like a battle won. I saw where he was and I see how far he has come...and God has healed this little boy...and it has made our journey that much more special. Will there still be struggles? Absolutely. His history is complicated and there will be triggers and life changes that bring back the hard. But that is part of this process and my job, as mom, is to be there to walk through that with him. The transformation is nothing short of a miracle.

People tell us quite frequently that we are so special and that Caleb is lucky because we have changed his life. I do not take offense, because I know the point they are trying to make...but this is bigger...so much bigger. Generations have been changed, for him certainly...but for us too. In us, the change has been profound and we will never be the same. Through this process, I have learned so much about myself...and my own sin. I have been stretched and I have struggled and grown more than I could have ever imagined. I learned about how selfish I really was. I learned what unconditional, true, active, committed every day love is. I learned about loving someone who didn't love me back. Throughout this process my other kids have learned about adoption. They have learned about Ethiopia, poverty, suffering, birth mothers, and lonely children. They have an African brother whom they adore. A brother who is brown when they are peach...and they can't even see it.

As I look back, I am in awe of what God has done in two years. We look toward to the future and I know we will be dealing less with temper tantrums and more with issues of identity, race and where did I come from? I pray that I am ready. Right now, I am basking in God's faithfulness...and when the questions and issues become more complex, I know that He will give me the words I need. Adoption is a beautiful thing. My heart aches with joy for this precious child in whom I delight.
There are so many deterrents to adoption. So many people talk about it...but never take that next step. Please think carefully if you are on the fence. Not everyone is called to adopt, certainly. We also cannot "save them all." But it terrifies me to think about what we would have lost, had we not stepped out in faith. God met us...but we could have so easily missed it. Because of our fear of the unknown, our excuses, our selfishness...we could have missed this. These kids aren't asking for perfect parents...they aren't asking for a white picket fence and tennis lessons at the country club...they just need a family. Families are always better. They deserve a family to fight for them and if you just love one...you really can change generations.

Thank you my sweet Caleb for letting me be your mama. You have made me a better woman. You have brought me closer to Jesus. I will continue to fight for you. You bring abounding joy to my life and I am blessed that God chose me for you. He always knew that you were mine, but I am so thankful that two years ago today, he brought us together at last...

Happy 2nd Adoption Day!

"He has made everything beautiful in its time..." -Ecclesiastes 3:11