Ethiopia - #4 (Acacia Village)

Our adoption took almost a year to complete. The "paper-chase" occupied several months and then many more months were spent waiting. At times, it appeared that there would never be a baby at the end of the journey - that we would spend the rest of our lives answering the recurrent question of friends and family...when? But once we arrived in Ethiopia, the pace felt uncomfortably quick. We left Atlanta on Friday and arrived in Ethiopia late Saturday. On Sunday morning we met our son and on Monday we signed papers at the Christian World Adoption Ethiopia office. Our paperwork was meticulous and our agency was very organized, so on Tuesday the long-anticipated Embassy appointment felt a bit anti-climatic...which I suppose was a good thing. The Embassy appointment consisted of a long wait followed by a quick review of our paperwork and a few questions about our child's history - and the adoption was final...baby Caleb could leave the country with us. On Wednesday, all of the "official" business was complete and we were finally beginning to feel a bit more adjusted to the time and comfortable with our surroundings. The visit to Acacia Village was a much welcomed chance to see some of Ethiopia. Acacia Village is a multi-purpose facility being built by our adoption agency consisting of multiple buildings (housing, classrooms, a health clinic, lodging, etc.) dedicated to meeting just a few of the needs of orphans in Ethiopia.

http://www.acaciavillage.org

Below are pictures of that trip.

Ethiopia - #3 (CWAE)

Monday morning we woke up delighted to be with our new son, yet feeling completely exhausted. Ethiopia is eight hours ahead and the time change coupled with Caleb's nighttime feedings was brutal. It was such a short trip and we only began adjusting to the time change on the last day. We had a significant amount of paperwork to sign at the Christian World Adoption Ethiopia (CWAE) office. Following the paperwork, CWAE held a coffee ceremony for us. Many would say that coffee was invented in Ethiopia - and the Ethiopians take this tradition seriously...it is a long process that is a very important part of their culture. The coffee was quite good and Bailey even tried some (although she wasn't a fan). Below are a few pictures of the CWAE office and the coffee ceremony.






The pictures below were taken at our guest house. The first was of our room. We were hoping for a larger suite, but it was booked...so, once we were four, the room was a tight squeeze for the week - and the bathroom was down the hall. There was a courtyard outside that turned out to be a fantastic spot for the kids to burn off some energy - and the weather was so comfortable that we really enjoyed spending time outside. The bottom photo is the view from our balcony (notice the razor wire around the perimeter).

Ethiopia - #2 (Adoption Day)

Due to a lost suitcase (yes...mine...anyone who knows me well finds this quite funny) and
our driver arriving late to the airport, it was well into the wee hours of Sunday morning when we finally made it to the guest house...completely exhausted. We slept briefly and at 9am the CWA driver arrived to take us to the transition home to get our baby. At this point, I'm not sure any of us even knew where we were. We were so tired that we were almost numb and everything seemed so foggy...as if it were happening in a dream. We arrived at the transition home, they handed us baby Caleb and we were allowed to take a few pictures, and that was it. Poor Caleb was so afraid. You could look in his eyes and see the terror...he hadn't seen white faces or heard English - I can only imagine what he was feeling...so scary. On the van ride back to the guest house, he didn't make a sound...nothing. There was only one huge tear running down his face. It was so sad because we could sense his fear and he was just shutting down - as I'm sure he's done many times before. At that point, reality began to set in for us...what other sad, lonely, scary things has this little one dealt with at such an early age?


It was surreal and I would have loved more time to check out the foster home and process things...but I think they attempt to minimize the disruption to the kids there by making the visits very brief. So, in less than an hour, we were back at the guest home staring at our new son and beginning the process of getting to know him.



Above are a few pictures of Caleb's first hours with us. What a day...to finally meet our baby - we had been staring at his picture and praying for him for so long. He was very tense and his fear was palpable...and heart-breaking. By the end of the day though, we did begin to see some smiles and he started to relax...but it will be a long process. He has to learn to trust us to meet his needs in a way they should have always been met...poor little man has been through so much already and it will take some time for his little heart to heal.

How Are We Doing?

Many of you have been very sweet to follow up with us, ask how we are doing, offer to bring food and help and we are so appreciative. (Sadly, one of our kids has severe food allergies, so I've declined most of the food offers...we're just too difficult to cook for...but we do appreciate every one's willingness to serve.)

The rosy "we have a new baby" answer is that everything is going pretty well...exactly as expected at this point. Baby Caleb is adjusting quite nicely. He is happy and developmentally on track. We are finally getting over the terrible jet lag that left us feeling completely incapacitated. The kids are doing well and for the most part, they love having a little brother.

And all of the above is true. But the real answer is that it is also very difficult. Caleb is 10 months old, but he feels very much like a newborn. Because he was in an orphanage and had many different caregivers, it is imperative that he learns what parents are and that he properly attaches/bonds to us. Otherwise, there could be a number of difficult issues down the road because he won't be able to emotionally connect. So, to help this bonding process, only Patrick and I will be doing the care-giving for Caleb...for an indefinite amount of time. No childcare, no baby-sitters. We do all of the feeding, changing, comforting, etc. We've let the grandmas hold him, but we're really not even allowing anyone else that opportunity for a while. Obviously I'm not nursing, but it feels very similar to that since he is basically tethered to me. Caleb wasn't on any solids yet, so we are gradually introducing those....but at this point, he prefers a bottle. He isn't sleeping well during naps or at night, so we are trying to establish those patterns while still allowing the grace he needs because he is so fearful. The big kids are adjusting pretty well, although our former baby is having a bit of a difficult time finding her new place. We are extremely tired and have had many moments wondering how we are going to weave this fourth child into an already crazy schedule. We had grown quite mobile as a family...and now we're toting an infant again. It has been a difficult week...and I've had help! I am terrified of "doing life" with four kids by myself and I have so much doubt about being up to the task.

There is such a "rosy glow" painted of life after a new baby comes home...whether biological or through adoption...and it is a very a special time. Looking back, it feels as though that time passed so quickly...but when in the middle of the sleepless nights and endless feedings and diapers, time appears to stand still. :) It is also a season of great doubt, fatigue...and looking back...great adjustment and change. It is not easy to lay down my selfishness, my impatience, my lack of faith so that I can love and serve another person...no matter how cute that little person is.

We are joyful and thankful...and we are also tired and afraid. My heart is bursting with happiness...and it breaks when I consider the task ahead of me. This is life. Growth isn't easy. Our prayer is that God continues to meet us in this journey because we certainly cannot do it on our own strength.

Ethiopia - #1 (Travel)

Our trip to Ethiopia was amazing...the trip of a lifetime. During our days there, my husband and I kept saying to one another, "Can you believe we are in Ethiopa?" It just seemed so unreal. The paperwork was over and we were actually there...to bring home our little boy!

The "getting there" was quite a process - and for me - one of the most challenging aspects of the trip. I'd been keeping a packing list for months. As the day neared, we set up two folding tables in the dining room and began piling stuff on them as needs came to mind. I felt that the packing stage had started months before, yet I still only finished at 2:30am the morning we were to leave. We packed our things, items for the baby, donations for the orphanage...we were loaded down.

Leaving my little kids at home was heart-breaking. To kiss them good-bye and get on an airplane to travel so very far away was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I prayed a lot. I spent a lot of time focusing simply on the next step, because the big picture was so hard and scary. It was a long flight from Atlanta to New York to Amsterdam to Khartoum (for a brief refuel) to Addis Ababa....over 25 hours. At this point, I'm still feeling that if I never fly again it will be too soon. (I know this will pass - it was just a very long journey.) Below are a few pictures...some of the donations we took, our travel day...

Home Sweet Home

I didn't realize that it was snowing in Atlanta until our flight from Amsterdam landed and I looked out the window. I'm so thankful we were still able to travel home and did not have to spend another night away. Our trip to Ethiopia was amazing...truly like none other. We saw and experienced so much. We made many wonderful new friends. It was exhausting and exciting and I am so thankful we were given this opportunity. I am thankful for our new baby boy. I am thankful that we made it home safely and are together as a family again. I am thankful for the wonderful friends and family who have supported us in this very long journey.

I have so many pictures from our trip. Right now, I'm just trying to get sweet Baby Caleb comfortable in his new surroundings. I am also attempting to recover from the jet lag in an effort to re-enter my life. Hopefully after a few days, I can get back on track and post a few photos.

Introducing...

Caleb Alemayehu

born: May 25, 2009
found his forever family: February 7, 2010


(more later on the name...)

Traveling Back to Atlanta

We are sitting in a hotel room in the Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam resting during our layover...then we're headed back to Atlanta. The trip has been amazing and educational...physically and emotionally exhausting...wonderful...so many things. I have spent much of the time processing emotions - many of which took me by surprise...Ethiopia is a wonderful country with beautiful people - but it is so complex and many of the images I saw will stay with me forever. More about that later...just a quick update for now. We are all doing well...Baily was a amazing - hardly a complaint and she was hungry and tired for most of the trip. Baby is great - many happy times with him, but when he is faced with a new environment, I can see him start to shut down and no sound comes - just a silent tear down his cheek. We pray that God heals his precious heart. Patrick and I are completely exhausted...jet lag and late night feedings have left us in a fog. I don't know how many times we turned to each other during the trip and said, "Can you believe we are in Ethiopia?"

Thank you to everyone for your prayers...we feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives. Please continue to pray for safe travel as we make our way to Atlanta...and for adjustment as we try to find the "new normal" for our family of 6!

One day to go...

I can't believe we are one day away from leaving for Ethiopia. The emotions are overwhelming. The packing is overwhelming. Life is overwhelming. I'm sad to leave my little kids for over a week. I'm excited to finally meet our baby boy. I'm dreading the long trip. I'm fearful of life with four kids. I feel blessed to be a mother. I'm terrified of the process of adjusting to our "new normal." I'm thrilled that this day is finally here. I'm humbled by the prospect of becoming a biracial family. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm a mess.

Still though...it is time to bring home this baby and I have peace in that. God has called us to this and, even in our trepidation, we are aspiring to be obedient. We've taken this process little by little and we'll just keep taking "baby steps" through the emotions until we are back in Atlanta with our new little man.

If you feel led, we would covet your prayers during this time.