The last news that we received about our little boy was that there would be no news either way until early next week. The hold up in the Oromia region (our child is in the Shashemene orphanage) is complicated to explain, but the majority of the issue now is related to bureaucratic process...official announcements, leaders being out on field visits, etc. This is beyond frustrating. To wait is difficult...but to wait for longer than necessary for no apparently good reason feels unbearable. We received our referral on September 8 and we were approved in court on November 18 (after a minor delay on November 17). We know of several people with court dates around ours - one is already home and one is traveling this week - and at this point we have already missed the cut-off for a January 12 embassy date.
To know that our sweet baby boy is "living" in an orphanage even for a few extra weeks is excruciating. We are hoping and praying that next week will bring news of an embassy date.
12.31.2009
12.16.2009
Still no news...
We thought we were so close. A couple of weeks ago, there was still a chance we could be given a December 29 embassy date. However, the continued issues in Shashemene have made that impossible. Last week, we heard that things were resolved and at any moment our little man would be moved from the orphanage to the foster home. After days without much communication or resolution, our adoption agency began to probe further. Apparently, they had been getting information from the orphanage, but upon calling the government directly, they learned that things were not as close as they appeared.
As of yesterday, we are still awaiting formal word from the Oromia officials and until that happens, no children will be relocated. So...we wait again. We are desperately hoping to have the baby moved, so that we can be given a January 12 embassy date - but it has to happen quickly. We don't need a lot of time, but we need at least a few weeks to ensure that the embassy date is still open, to find lodging, to organize logistics at home and to avoid spending extra thousands of dollars on airline tickets.
The hope is still that good news could come any day - and we pray this is true. I've been relatively peaceful up to this point, but the longer it continues, the more difficult it gets. I have an empty nursery upstairs that is stocked and ready for a little one...and that little one is currently spending his days in an orphanage without a family to love him. We are growing weary and it is unbearable that he would be lonely for even one more day.
As of yesterday, we are still awaiting formal word from the Oromia officials and until that happens, no children will be relocated. So...we wait again. We are desperately hoping to have the baby moved, so that we can be given a January 12 embassy date - but it has to happen quickly. We don't need a lot of time, but we need at least a few weeks to ensure that the embassy date is still open, to find lodging, to organize logistics at home and to avoid spending extra thousands of dollars on airline tickets.
The hope is still that good news could come any day - and we pray this is true. I've been relatively peaceful up to this point, but the longer it continues, the more difficult it gets. I have an empty nursery upstairs that is stocked and ready for a little one...and that little one is currently spending his days in an orphanage without a family to love him. We are growing weary and it is unbearable that he would be lonely for even one more day.
12.09.2009
Emotions Running High
So many of our sweet friends have been wonderfully supportive and interested in our adoption journey. Lately, we've gotten a lot of questions not only about the logistics of the whole thing, but about how we are doing and feeling during all of this...especially as travel draws nearer.
Here is the honest answer.
The past 6 months have been some of the most physically and emotionally exhausting months of our lives. Adoption is such a long process that for a while you can oscillate between simple day-dreams and relative stoicism because it is still so far away. Sure, the paperwork is grueling...but for the most part, it is "out there" and something to delve into later. Once that initial decision is made to adopt, life sort of marches on. But since we received our referral in September, everything has changed. In September, there was a name and a face...and the mood became decidedly more intense.
We are both feeling completely spent. With three relatively little kids, life is full. Our oldest is in school all day, but my other kids are home for a good portion of the time. The afterschool hours are full of shuttling to the various activities and any of my waking time before bed is for unfinished chores. Patrick has been extremely busy at work and with some travel, so I'm own my own for a good portion of the week. We have been busy moving our kids' rooms around, clearing out the nursery and handling various house organizational projects that will make life a little easier once we arrive home. Our list of things to do as we prepare to leave for Ethiopia seems impossible and it appears we may need to drag a U-haul behind our airplane. I'm hosting a couple of Christmas social events at our house, so we spent last weekend decorating and now I need to manage to fit in a little shopping and some holiday fun for the kiddos. So physically, we are pooped.
The surprise has been where we both are emotionally. Neither my husband nor myself are highly emotive people, but lately, we are all over the place. The emotional side of this is just so difficult to process. A friend wrote the other day that sometimes she "found the paradox almost unbearable." We are so thrilled to be adding a member to our family. We cannot wait to hold him, love him and begin the bonding process. I see his face and I am joyful. But the underlying sadness is always there. The sadness about what he has already been through - the circumstances that led him coming to us. I am happy briefly...but I immediately feel guilty for it because the story is so complex. It is a lot to comprehend. It is difficult to put words to it. We are excited for our trip - but very nervous about being so far from our other kids. We are ready for a baby, but we are fearful of the parasites and other issues we will have to address upon arriving home. Each pleasant emotion is immediately met with one of sadness, anxiety or fear...and after a while it becomes quite unbearable.
So, how are we doing? I could probably pick almost any emotion and we are feeling it. We are physically and emotionally exhausted. We are full of joy, sadness, excitement, anxiety, hope, discouragment...and on and on and on. I am weepy most days. I spend most of my day feeling overwhelmed. But even with all of this, we are still content. This is where we are supposed to be and God is showing us so much about ourselves, our idols, our sin. God has brought us this far and we will continue to "baby step" all the way to Ethiopia and back.
Here is the honest answer.
The past 6 months have been some of the most physically and emotionally exhausting months of our lives. Adoption is such a long process that for a while you can oscillate between simple day-dreams and relative stoicism because it is still so far away. Sure, the paperwork is grueling...but for the most part, it is "out there" and something to delve into later. Once that initial decision is made to adopt, life sort of marches on. But since we received our referral in September, everything has changed. In September, there was a name and a face...and the mood became decidedly more intense.
We are both feeling completely spent. With three relatively little kids, life is full. Our oldest is in school all day, but my other kids are home for a good portion of the time. The afterschool hours are full of shuttling to the various activities and any of my waking time before bed is for unfinished chores. Patrick has been extremely busy at work and with some travel, so I'm own my own for a good portion of the week. We have been busy moving our kids' rooms around, clearing out the nursery and handling various house organizational projects that will make life a little easier once we arrive home. Our list of things to do as we prepare to leave for Ethiopia seems impossible and it appears we may need to drag a U-haul behind our airplane. I'm hosting a couple of Christmas social events at our house, so we spent last weekend decorating and now I need to manage to fit in a little shopping and some holiday fun for the kiddos. So physically, we are pooped.
The surprise has been where we both are emotionally. Neither my husband nor myself are highly emotive people, but lately, we are all over the place. The emotional side of this is just so difficult to process. A friend wrote the other day that sometimes she "found the paradox almost unbearable." We are so thrilled to be adding a member to our family. We cannot wait to hold him, love him and begin the bonding process. I see his face and I am joyful. But the underlying sadness is always there. The sadness about what he has already been through - the circumstances that led him coming to us. I am happy briefly...but I immediately feel guilty for it because the story is so complex. It is a lot to comprehend. It is difficult to put words to it. We are excited for our trip - but very nervous about being so far from our other kids. We are ready for a baby, but we are fearful of the parasites and other issues we will have to address upon arriving home. Each pleasant emotion is immediately met with one of sadness, anxiety or fear...and after a while it becomes quite unbearable.
So, how are we doing? I could probably pick almost any emotion and we are feeling it. We are physically and emotionally exhausted. We are full of joy, sadness, excitement, anxiety, hope, discouragment...and on and on and on. I am weepy most days. I spend most of my day feeling overwhelmed. But even with all of this, we are still content. This is where we are supposed to be and God is showing us so much about ourselves, our idols, our sin. God has brought us this far and we will continue to "baby step" all the way to Ethiopia and back.
12.02.2009
No Embassy Date Yet...
No news yet regarding our embassy date. There are a few things that must happen before we will be assigned a date and we are just waiting for all of those items to fall into place. On December 1 we learned that the investigation in Shashemene was complete. This is great news firstly, because referrals will once again begin flowing out of Shashamene. Secondly, it also means that our baby will be moved from the orphanage to the CWA foster home in the next week or two. This is exciting because the care at the foster home is quite good and it also means he is one step closer to us. However, it is painful to think about how our little guy will be affected by the move. He has been in Shashamene since about June and this will be another big and difficult transition in his very short little life.
This week we also received an e-mail containing his birth certificate. It is surreal to look at an Ethiopian birth certificate for a baby we have not yet met...and the birth certificate has our last name on it.
So, we are getting close to an embassy date...I hope. Once we have that date, we will immediately begin making travel plans. We have been expecting to travel in January, but there is a possibility that the trip could be at the end of December. I think I am still in shock that after so long, we are finally so close.
This week we also received an e-mail containing his birth certificate. It is surreal to look at an Ethiopian birth certificate for a baby we have not yet met...and the birth certificate has our last name on it.
So, we are getting close to an embassy date...I hope. Once we have that date, we will immediately begin making travel plans. We have been expecting to travel in January, but there is a possibility that the trip could be at the end of December. I think I am still in shock that after so long, we are finally so close.
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