Away in A Manger

Is This Really Christmas?

Each year since becoming a mother, I have vowed to do a better job managing my holiday stress. I say, "Next year I will be more organized, I will shop earlier, I will give more and spend less, and I will not let the little things get to me." But with each passing year (and each additional child), I just get worse. Somewhere amongst the duties of a growing family, school parties and Christmas programs, shopping and decorating...I get lost. Is this really how it is supposed to be? Most moms are frazzled enough with the normal responsibilities of life. To add the Christmas "to-do" list can send many dangerously close to the edge. I really do make some attempt to maintain perspective. However, there are all these things that must be done and people who are waiting (and expecting) for me to do them. What is an over-whelmed mom to do?

This year, I just feel over it. I had two kids out shopping in the rain last week and I almost got run over three times by people not wanting to stop to let us cross the parking lot at Target. The atmosphere is chaotic. I hear there is a recession, but one would never know it if they spent last Saturday at the mall. How did we get here?

I want Christmas to be special to my kids for the right reasons. We light Advent candles. We talk about Jesus' birth. We buy presents for needy families. Santa is not a huge figure in our house. But still, I am not content with the message we will be sending them this year. As our kids get older, we can see them grow more enticed by the hype. But the stuff is never enough. Each year, people buy, spend and charge...but it is never enough and it will never fill the void. My dear friend Shea lost her mom last week and her grief is great. She is hurting; there are so many who are hurting. I'm not completely sure how to put words to my heart right now. But where we have arrived does not feel like the right place. How do we balance it all, maintain perspective and still give our families a special season full of tradition and memories? I read a wonderful devotional today and I will close with that, because Joni Eareckson Tada says it so well and so much better than I ever could:

“On this side of eternity, Christmas is still a promise. Yes, the Savior has come, and with him peace on earth, but the story is not finished. Yes, there is peace in our hearts, but we long for peace in our world. Every Christmas is still ‘a turning of the page’ until Jesus returns. Every December 25 marks another year that draws us closer to the fulfillment of the ages, that draws us closer to . . . home. When we realize that Jesus is the answer to our deepest longing, even Christmas longings, each Advent brings us closer to his glorious return to earth. When we see him as he is, King of kings and Lord of lords, that will be ‘Christmas’ indeed!”
- Joni Eareckson Tada, “A Christmas Longing” in Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus ed. by Nancy Guthrie (Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 2008), 137.

Is it surprising that American kids are unhealthy?

Just the other day, I was standing in the check-out line at Dick's Sporting Goods. A quick glance at the products displayed there (you know the place, where the impulse items are put near the point-of-sale to get the kids' whining to a fever-pitch) quickly reminded me of one of my greatest pet-peeves about our wonderful country. There, in the athletic store - right across the isle from the running clothes...were shelves full of candy. To call it irony seems like an understatement. Mom, here is your cute jogging gear and bisphenol-A free water bottle. Junior, here is your squeezable liquid candy in a tube. Huh?

This is not the first time I've let this issue work me into a frenzy. I have coached soccer for many years and snacks are always a big topic of discussion. Both parents and kids are adamant about having snacks and to suggest that food is forgone is almost sacrilegious in America. But why? It seems completely ridiculous. These children spend their weekends enjoying sports. They get healthy exercise and do something good for their bodies...and then we feed them junk. Does an 8-year old really need Gatorade after a 45 minute soccer game? Has the daisy-picking depleted their little systems so much that electrolytes are required? And if their poor little bodies are so taxed that they actually do require Gatorade, than I believe this is an entirely different issue (which is also somewhere we may be headed in this country). Are mini-chocolate chip cookies a must for a good time to be had? A fruit roll-up does not count as fruit. Why do we need to celebrate everything with food? I believe we are sending kids a mixed message. We are also making it very difficult on mothers who are attempting to instill healthy habits in their kids. One day for lunch last week at my daughter's school, the menu was hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. How is my organic yogurt and fruit is supposed to compete?

There is another phenomenon in America that runs parallel to this issue. Health and thin should not so often be assumed to be the same thing. There are quite a few adults and children who appear very thin, but on a cellular level have bodies starving for real nutrition. It isn't about skinny - which is another concept that is difficult for a People magazine generation to understand. It is about staying away from processed food. It is about avoiding obesity. It is about health and fitness. It is about eating things that are closer to the way God made them. It is about fueling our body for optimal performance.

Are treats ok? Absolutely. As we've all learned, as soon as something is off-limits it becomes so much more desirable. But we have treats for everything: sports games, rewards, cold days, rainy days, happy times, sad times, potty-training, birth, death, recitals, parties, holidays...the "good reasons" are endless. If treats are always available, they are no longer treats. My son's class was practicing their counting with Skittles. Would it have been so awful to count with grapes - or carrot sticks maybe? We need to be more careful not to confuse our children or to tempt them beyond what they can handle. If unhealthy food is associated with every life experience, it can create habits which will be very much ingrained in our kids as they enter into adulthood. If you have heard of the book "Why French Women Don't Get Fat?" then you can probably imagine a similar title, "Why Children in America Are Unhealthy." We don't give our poor kids a fighting chance.

A Good Week

It seems that many of my posts...by "many" I mean almost all of them...center on the realities of motherhood. Hopefully it doesn't translate as complaining, but rather as an honest snapshot of where I am in my heart-changing journey through the joys and challenges of this role. But, as is common throughout life, we often times hear more about the negative or difficult because people don't comment and reach out when the going is easy. For example, we consistently convey information about issues with poor customer service or a bad meal out, but we speak much less often about a great experience. We reprimand our kids more than we praise them. The negative seems to always make headlines, while the positive gets lost. So today, a post about a good "mommy" week.

I was dreading last week. We had a good bit going on and my husband was going to be out a few nights. We were also coming off of a full-house for Thanksgiving and then a week with a toddler who had a tummy-bug (this should have been a separate entry because she woke up 6 mornings in a row covered in poop...I changed and washed her crib sheets no less than 10 times and then I spent several days with a mild case of what she had, probably because I'd been covered in her poop for days on-end...but wait, I digress...this is supposed to be a non-whining post).

But God met me last week. In spite of logistics that could have inspired a typed itinerary, He met me. I seemed to have more energy than normal, I was reasonably productive and I believe I even managed to be a kind and patient mommy for much of the week. I cherished the time with my kids and I felt overwhelmingly grateful to be their mother. I realized how quickly they are growing up and I wanted to freeze time because they are so precious. I suppose it is no surprise that I spent more time with God last week. I was more faithful with my quiet times. He is always there to meet me, but if I am not there to listen...no wonder I struggle. The week was long and physically exhausting, but it did not leave me feeling weary as it has on so many other occasions.

So, I suppose there is a lot to be learned from this. With the challenges of motherhood, I long to be content in the hour, in the day. An entire week is unusual, but I rejoice in it. It was an unexpected blessing. It was probably also a not-so-subtle reminder that I spend far too many days relying on my own strength.